This Sunday we celebrated marriages in the church and heard a fantastic testimony from Chris and Tricia, a couple at Redeemer who have been married for over 50 years! We were also blessed by a visit from our resident poet Steve Page, whose poem - I Do - is below.
Rather than offer my own advice to my son and his bride on their wedding day, I asked various Christian couples who have a few years of marriage behind them to offer their thoughts on the ingredients of a successful marriage. And I then sought to weave them together. So this poem is the fruit of around 250 years of marriage.
It’s called – “I Do”
Ignore the lyrics:
You can't pursue love.
You don't find love.
Love's not a thing to be kept or had;
it's a doing word that you both have to work at.
Love is a language expressed in deeds
and so clear expression of your love best succeeds when you
both discover what the other most dearly needs.
So spend time planting daily deeds of love, every one of them a fragile seed.
Continue to listen day and night
and learn what each other prefers and what you both like.
And then, when you get it right
you'll be answered by a unmistakable light in their wide
glistening eyes.
Do it on a date.
Do it with your mates.
Do it when you're tired and it's heavy eyed late.
Do it in the everyday mundane way
you pair your own socks
and clear away last night's takeaway.
Laugh often and have fun
especially when you feel life has you on the run
and be sure to surprise each other both regularly and often
Maybe even invest in a pair of water guns.
Share the fragile thoughts
you find at the forefront of your mind.
Reveal your vulnerability,
the hurt you feel when life's been unkind.
And in response to that revealed insecurity, ensure you tread carefully
until you see the healing that comes from interlacing lovingly.
Speak your love every day.
Articulate it come what may.
And that way you'll ensure that it stays
at the forefront of each of your todays,
on the tip of your tongues
so when you inevitably take a step wrong
you'll both recall why you're together
and why it's worth the endeavour
that it takes to push through that unexpected foul weather.
Love one another through that gale
and sail on to meet the adventure
that's yours to discover:
Through the miles of your wherevers,
for the duration of your whenevers,
strong enough for your whatevers,
standing together,
forever relentlessly loving each other.
So may the Lord of your tomorrows bless you together.
May the Lord keep you smiling whatever.
May his face shine on you in all kinds of weather.
And may He give you peace
that will never cease
to give you pause to thank Him for his grace
forever.
And all the assembled people said
AMEN.
We also heard about some other great resources on Sunday, which we hope will bless you if you as a married person during this time.
The first is Tim & Kathy Keller’s book - The Meaning of Marriage.
”In The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller, along with Kathy, his wife of thirty-six years, draws a profound portrait of marriage from the pages of Scripture that neither idealizes nor rejects the institution but points us back to the relationship between God and man. The result is a vision for marriage that is refreshingly frank and unsentimental, yet hopeful and beautiful. This book is for anyone from singles, to couples considering marriage, to those who have been married recently or for a long time.”
The second is an app - available for Apple and Android devices - Toucan is designed for couples, and includes various tools to help you to build your relationship.
The third thing we recommend is the HTB marriage course. Designed and run by Holy Trinity Brompton (A church here in London), The Marriage Course is a series of seven sessions, designed to help couples invest in their relationship and build a strong marriage.
